Okay, so confession time first: I was not great at relishing last year. As is often the way of New Year’s resolutions, I started with a hiss and a roar, and then it faded almost as quickly as it began. However, I already have higher hopes for this year’s word:
Firstly, on a strictly pragmatic level, I have higher hopes because this word came to me several weeks ago – and I’m still remembering it in February.
Secondly, and more importantly, I think ‘Believe’ will stick better this year simply because my thinking around this word has already evolved.
Originally, I conceived of the word in the context of ‘believe things will get better’ (which makes it sound like I’m having some kind of crisis – which I most decidedly am not). But this meant that I was having hamster-wheel thoughts about how things would get better; the steps I would take to ensure this happens; the people I would talk to; how those conversations would play out… etc, etc. I feel exhausted just writing that, and I’m kind of picking it wasn’t a joy to read either.
But then I had a kind of, well, epiphany, I guess – to go with the religious connotations of my word for the year. If I believe that things will get better, then they will. I don’t need to spend time and energy worrying about them. This then, leaves time to have time. To be here and present in this moment without worrying unnecessarily about the future. And in this way, for me, ‘believe’ has evolved into a kind of peaceful optimism which I fervently hope persists.